Men aren’t short on feelings. We’re long on shame and short on vocabulary.
For me, a huge breakthrough was naming my ancestral shame about 6 years ago, after which it didn’t feel nearly as shameful or heavy to carry anymore.
The emotion wheel has been a huge help for me to name emotions I feel, and is something I regularly use with my men’s group to help them name emotions they feel.
Thank you for pointing to the naming. It's in noticing and naming that we can find the necessary spaciousness to see that we don't have to hold something anymore. This is the bleeding edge of transformation, and it's often enough to shift the mountain we carry inside us.
I've come to believe that naming is the thing. I see so many light bulbs going off in men's heads (and my own) when something has a name instead of a fuzzy place deep in our brains.
Great post. My favorite line was:
Men aren’t short on feelings. We’re long on shame and short on vocabulary.
For me, a huge breakthrough was naming my ancestral shame about 6 years ago, after which it didn’t feel nearly as shameful or heavy to carry anymore.
The emotion wheel has been a huge help for me to name emotions I feel, and is something I regularly use with my men’s group to help them name emotions they feel.
Love the emotion wheel idea and naming the ancestral shame you were carrying.
Thank you for pointing to the naming. It's in noticing and naming that we can find the necessary spaciousness to see that we don't have to hold something anymore. This is the bleeding edge of transformation, and it's often enough to shift the mountain we carry inside us.
I've come to believe that naming is the thing. I see so many light bulbs going off in men's heads (and my own) when something has a name instead of a fuzzy place deep in our brains.